Kraken Not Stirred is a musical act which spans various genres, writing songs about all manner of nerdy pursuits.
If you grok songs about science fiction, fantasy, computers, conventions, and general weirdness, you've come to the right place.
December 31, 2015
YEAR IN REVIEW
Well, that was a reasonably busy year, wasn't it? There was a dress of confusing colourosity, a shark of questionable funkiness, a desert race movie that made playing guitar in a red onsesie cool again, and some other film about space battles or something. I dunno. Never heard of it.
As for The Mighty Kraken and I, his humble minion, here's how our year went. In math form.
So that's cool. What kind of wacky adventures will we have in 2016? You'll just have to stick around to find out.
December 28, 2015
Members of my mailing list just got a free download of my cover of "I in the Sky" (AKA The Captial I song from Sesame Street.) So that's pretty cool.
You could get it, too, just by putting your email address in that little box up there.
November 24, 2015
If you've ever played Plants vs Zombies, you'll know that the little jerk on the pogo stick is a particularly obnoxious little dingus. That's why I wrote a song about him.
And to make things even more awesome, I got a bunch of friends to help me out by shouting "Pogo Zombie is a Jerk" a whole bunch.
Australian Geek Pop sensation Meri Amber
Spoken word satirist Jeff Cottrill
Errol Elumir of awesome nerd music duo Debs and Errol
Musician, VJ, painter, and all-around cool person Cynthia Gould
Doug Lea, who along with the aforementioned Cynthia Gould, plays for High Heels Lo Fi
Doug also happens to play drums in my metal band, Nanochrist, along with vocalist Scworm, who also appears, along with with keyboardist Sebastien L'Arrivee, who also plays for Hatz.
Larry Varvarici of Primal Frost
Hilarious nerd ukulelist Kari Maaren
Kirsten, Pelayo, and Taavi of a capella trio Kirsten Sandwich
Non-linkable friends Tessa Stone and Chris Horne
and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.
And so... without further ado, please enjoy POGO ZOMBIE IS A JERK
October 21, 2015
Happy Marty McFly day!
The always awesome Kari Maaren has written a song in honour of this momentous occasion, and she has called on me to help out with it on guitar, bass, and drum programming. So that's pretty cool. Take a listen to it here...
And then sign up for her YouTube channel. And also mine, if you haven't yet. Because awesome stuff is awesome.
October 2nd, 2015
The mighty Kraken feels that if one is going to write a song about a giant, fire-breathing lizard, one should be sure that said song is a Death Metal song. He's probably right.
I would, therefore, like to present to you...
A Reptile Dysfunction
Like it? Please share it on your favourite social media platform.
You there! I need you to listen to both version of the song below, then fill out the survey. In return, you get
high-quality mp3s of BOTH VERSIONS OF THE SONG, the cover art for each, and an extra-super-awesome picture of A NEO-OTYUGH RIDING A GELATINOUS CUBE INTO BATTLE!!!
More live YouTubery. This time it's my performance of "The Confunk" at last month's Nocturne show...
March 10th, 2015
The YouTubes now have a video of the intro to my live show at Nocturne last month, with bonus live Doctor Who theme. Check it out...
March 8th, 2015
Due to circumstances beyond my control *COUGH*dayjob*COUGH* I have to cancel my appearance at Jeff Cottrill's CD release party on April 2nd. You should still totatlly go, though, because it's going to be awesome.
February 10th, 2015
I've got a couple of short sets coming up, one as part of Debs and Errol's final show. That's at Round Venue, 152 Augusta Ave, Toronto, on March 7th, 6:30-9.
The Facebook event is here. This inclides appearances by Nerds With Guitars, Kari Maaren, Copy Red Leader, and Rock, Paper, Cynic. So it should be awesome, despite the sadness of losing Debs and Errol.
The other one is on Thursday, April 2nd at the Black Swan (154 Danforth Ave, Toronto) the release party for Jeff Cottrill's upcoming spoken word CD, Nit Fenny. (Which I also engineered.)
This one also includes the omnipresent Kari Maaren, as well as Kirsten Sandwich. (Whose last CD I also engineered. Go me!)
There will also be readings by Jeff Cottrill (well, duh) and Cynthia Gould, (who is 1/3rd of High Heels Lo Fi, who I'm playing with on Feb 20th. I've also engineered all of their CDs. I sense a pattern.)
Both of these are sure to be great nights, so you should definitely show up.
February 1st, 2015
Holy crap, I've got a show!
Friday, February 20th, at Nocturne (550 Queen St. W, Toronto), with Toronto's best, worst, and only Drunk Rock band, High Heels Lo Fi
It's an early show, so make sure to be there by 9.
So I've decided to start a video blog. Or "vlog" and the kids say. Because what this world needs is another musician doing a vlog. It's called "Tentacle Talk" and it's all about the goings-on here in Krakenville. The first one centres on the instrument I use to create this stuff. If it seems like anyone cares about that sort of thing, I'll make another. Check it out...
October 20th, 2013
Well... His Extreme Wetness has decided to pitch a TV show. He's convinced that it's going to be the Next Big Thing, despite the fact that he hasn't gotten around to writing a script yet. But he made me write a theme song for it, and here it is.
I'm really sorry.
August 12th, 2013
The Kraken was psionically probing my rapidly disintegrating brain a while back, looking for ideas for new shows to watch, when he stumbled upon my experiences doing technical support for dial-up Internet customers many years ago. As much as I really didn't want to relive any of that, he was quite insistent that I write a song about it.
Speaking of Reaver Attack, I went and made a cheesy lyric video for it...
July 16th, 2013
His Mighty Aquaticness has unleashed a new song upon an unsuspecting planet.
This on is based on Firefly, his favourite new show. He told me that he's really looking forward to Season 2.
I didn't have the heart to tell him.
Click here to listen to the awesomeness of... REAVER ATTACK!
June 17th, 2013
I made a video. You have been warned.
May 22nd, 2013
Some of you have been complaining about the audio player in the music section, so I've started a Soundcloud account.
May 15th, 2013
So hey. Check it out: it's April's offering. In mid May. Yes, I know. But it's totally not my fault. You see, His Royal Moistness finally discovered Doctor Who.
Being a rather Type A sort of sea monster, he decided to watch the entire series before beaming his next song to me. Yup, all of it. Starting from 1963's An Uneartly Child. So that kind of took a while.
The good news is, while watching the show, he developed a little crush on one of the characters and decided to try to woo her in song. Which Doctor Who character could warm the Kraken's massive heart, you ask? Amy Pond? No. Perpugilliam Brown? No. Romana? The Rani? Alpha Centauri? No, no, and no.
It appears that he prefers something a little more sluggy and hateful.
The good news is that he's decided that May's offering is going to be about Firefly. So he ran off to watch it all as fast as possible. "It's awesome so far," he said. "It's so good, there's probably tons of seasons of it, so I've gotta get started right away."
I didn't have the heart to tell him.
March 25th, 2013
This month's song involves two dudes, several personages of historical significance, and a hot step-mom.
It would be totally non-heinous of you to go over to the music page and listen to the totally non-bogus, "Shut Up, Ted", even though it doesn't have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.
Be excellent to each other. And party on, dudes.
Feb 27th, 2013
In February's offering, the mighty Kraken details his feelings regarding the vampire craze. You can listen to it over at the music page.
Note to my Goth friends: The opinions expressed in this song are those of the Kraken only. He made me do it.
Jan 30th, 2013
I have succeeded! I can only hope that the Kraken is pleased.
His first song, The Ballad of Han Solo, can now be heard in all of its electronic trucker song glory by clicking on "music."
Jan 29th, 2013
The mighty Kraken has ordered this site to be operational by tomorrow.
If I fail, he's sure to pull my eyes out with his fearsome suction cups.